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The Cure for Being Chronically Single
I have been writing so much about marriage lately that many singles are starting to complain that nothing is being written for them. Those who are chronically single are complaining the loudest.
There are surprisingly many chronically single people -- bright, nice, loving people who for whatever reason are unlucky in love.
I have already written many articles to address the needs of those chronically single, trying to give them tips to stop being single. I have even written a series of articles on this topic. But I am still getting as many requests for help with this situation as ever.
I think the problem is that many chronically single people think there is THE answer, the magic piece of information they can be given to make love turn around for them.
I hate to say this, but sorry, it doesn't work this way.
Relationship issues are better viewed in the same context as addiction or disease. If you were addicted to, say, smoking or food, you would know there was not one answer. You would expect to take a series of often-difficult steps. You would have to
overcome your own personality in order to succeed and get better. If you had a disease, diabetes perhaps or heart disease, you would know you would have to continuously take certain steps, again overcoming your personality at times in order to live well.
Being single and especially being chronically single is like that. Think of it as chronic singles disease--I know, this sounds depressing. But looking at being single this way can also give you hope. If being single is a "disease" then there must be a "cure." And there is.
But the "cure" comes at a cost. The cost is hard work. You must overcome certain personality characteristics you will find hard to overcome and take actions that seem inconvenient and out of your comfort zone.
The end result of the "cure" is love.
Are you willing to deal with the "cure" to get love? If you say yes, here is one action I will challenge you to take right now. Yes, it will be hard and out of your comfort zone, but we have already established this is what the "cure" will involve.
Start by widening your social circle. Here's why:
}}You need support for being single and in the early stages of a relationship.
}} You need something fun to do while being single and in the early stages of a relationship so that your new partner is not your only source of fun.
}} You want to cast a wide net and get to know the many friends of your many friends, to increase your chance of meeting your right person.
}} You are a social animal with social needs that need to be met. You need to meet these before you get into a relationship and while you are in one.
}} You can learn about some of your relationship issues in friendships, before these issues ruin your relationship.
It is difficult to meet new people, especially if you feel, as some singles do, that you don't know anyone. It is difficult to attend events or clubs or groups alone and see the clicks, which seem impossible to break through. But at some point you have to
do it. It's really not any harder than this. Just go out there and get involved. And your perpetual singleness will begin to get "cured."
Want more "cure"?
I have written a definitive class on how to stop being single. In it are the actions you need to take as well as the internal work you need to do to finally stop being single, to become "cured." If love is what you want, you will find the "cure" at
www.whatittakes.com/classes/single.html. Go there for info on the class and to enroll.
Your Relationship Coach,
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